Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
OP
OP
docw1
Bill Rankin
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.
Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?”
He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.
Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.
His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?”
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
... one just survived a 300kph crash...
... the other had his shirt pulled...
... the other had his shirt pulled...
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
... yeah, right...
... because me like...
... because me like...
Bmacleod
Site Supporter
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
... since the 70ies...
Went to the Target store to get some Sea-Bond for my mom, One aisle was devoted to making your whole anatomy smell good, but it doesn't matter if your teeth fly out when you are talking to someone. All they had was one brand, Poly-grip.
My dog surely likes the way people smell now, I let her sniff all the butts she wants now
My dog surely likes the way people smell now, I let her sniff all the butts she wants now
It's a 2-fer.....your buddies can make bets on whether or not you bleed out before the paramedics arrive.
You have just defined the issues with most theses and doctoral papers.
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
Depends...
while installing AC in residential homes and apartments, I came across some obviously shot-proved felines...
I mean the pneumatic SDS max hammer-drill roaring 2" holes through cast concrete walls, the Hilti shop-vac blaring aside, banging its filter cartridge every 60 seconds, and those kitties right in between, totally curious about the action, like... hey fellas, watcha doing there?... much to the astonishment of their owners...
but we gave up years ago, so the "inching" part is actually past tense. Now we're permanently anchored to the Imperial system. After 2 liter soda bottles, and engine displacement in liters, we never got much further than dual-system labeling.... since the 70ies...